Dear Family,

Now don’t be shocked, but I’m thinking of my final send-off aka my burial plans.

I’m thinking about this again, so humor me.

Now here’s my plan:

(1). Just a handmade pine box or a FEMA Coffin Tote!

(2). Mass with a pot luck. Or buy a McDonald’s Happy Meal for the kids, just to irritate Obama’s wife. Make sure to have a milk shake or sugary drink, to get her good and mad.

(3). Then sing “O Danny Boy,” “Sancta Maria,” and sing up a storm so God the Father will hear the “Our Father” sung.

(4). Don’t forget to put plants on my grave. Nothing fancy. I do like perennials and annuals, if you can one or two, daisy plants: and any kind of Dianthus or Carnations, and alyssum ground cover or sedum ground cover.

(5). Say an “Ave Maria” and/or “Rosary” for me everyday. “Mass” on Saturday or Sunday for me and your Dad.

(6). That last one is obligatory, in my book. We need all the help we can get, to make it into heaven. But, we may be stuck in Purgatory. That’s where your prayers, works, joys and sufferings come in. Offer it up for the Souls in Purgatory. We may need your help out of there, with your Ave’s for us. Thanks, in advance, for your prayers.

(7). Write a letter of thanks to the Gov’t, for the FEMA Coffin. At least someone will use them up, for them. But, if you ask me, making them into watering trough’s for horses and cattle or garden ponds makes more sense to me. I doubt animals will drink from a hot & dirty plastic coffin tote. Animals like stainless steal watering troughs’ best. IMHO.

Well, that’s my BURIAL PLAN. Hope you like it.

Love, Mom!